Smoke gets in your eyes.
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She is unpredictable, frequent moodswings. Sometimes she’s nice, and sometimes she’s not.
Her name is Yan Ying. 90% of the world can’t pronounce it properly, simple as it seems. But no one really cares so they just call her YY. She is not fond of people with the same name as her. She turns 14 on 6th September and she loves her birthday cause it is a sex symbol. She was from Yew Tee Primary and is still proud of her school. She will never forget the class of 6D’07, or the batch of P6’07. She is currently an idiot in Nanyang Girls High and it is a love-hate relationship. She belongs to 202’09 which she, to be honest, doesn’t feel much for. She is a Theatre Club girl and is more than proud to be one. She especially loves Emo Batch♥, and looks forward to devoting her next 3 years to TCN with much optimism. She does ballet with more than just passion but she can’t do a center split. She is trying her best and is currently aiming for a far-fetched distinction for Grade6. She loves hiphop just as much though she’s pretty new at it. Her favourite sport is swimming and she occasionally plays basketball as a form of stress-relief. She likes to be tan and loves her swimming tan line. The piano, is yet another love-hate relationship. Like most teenagers, her hobbies include MSNing, blogging, and youtubing and facebooking. She loves shopping and doing random stuff like gaying people, jumping over railings, walking in the rain, and having completely irregular sleeping hours. Unlike most teenagers, she thinks that rap music is trash. She also thinks that she is getting old cause she hates the songs the average listens to these days. She can’t explain her love for oldies, country music, ballads, and sentimentals. Nostalgic songs are the best. Her favourite bands are Michael Learns to Rock, The Beatles and Westlife. She loves too many singers to name them all. “Forevers” are bullshit as of now. The night speaks to her the way no one else can. Her favourite thing to do is to curl up with a book on a rainy afternoon in her room, where she feels safest in. Her favourite flower is a black rose, but on the contrary, she likes rainbows and hugs too. She is always torn between two. But she is determined when she sets her mind on something, so she wants the world to shut up and believe in her. Just watch.Tag
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Thursday, August 30, 2007, 11:59 PM
Depressed.
Rather depressed.Miss Lin gave out our results today. Prelim results, and I didn't do very well.
And as expected, people cried. Like the two girls sitting beside me, the one on my left for English and the one on my right for Math. There were many others from other banded classes too, because our expectations of ourselves were so high. P5 it's like no one cried...Flunk then flunk, who gives a damn?
But different story here in P6.
Sad.
Sigh~
I'm really disappointed in myself for English.
My score was average, just average.
But I shouldn't be getting average, should I?
No, not ME.
I should be above average, not just AVERAGE.
75/95 for me really sucks.
As in really really sucks.
I lost to Kar Mun like heaps.
When we got back Booklet B, I scored only a frigging 46/65, which made me...I was unable to believe it, because Kar Mun and JOANNA got 59.5. That's like 13.5 marks difference!
No one could believe how badly I've done, either. Everyone expected at least a 50 from me, and I couldn't do it.
You should have looked at them when they asked me how much I scored and I said, "Below 50. 46."
Some gave me the wide-eyed "OH MY GOD!" face.
Some were, "I don't believe lor." or "Fake one." or "Impossible."
But it's reality.
I didn't like it. I'm not Super Woman, I don't have the genius brain of Chong Kar Mun.
And as I said, I'm not born to study, like CKM. I don't know how come she can manage to study like every waking moment. That's so alienic. I mean, I'd rather murder myself than live such a dull life.
And obviously, I can see through their sympathetic eyes, the satisfaction of winning me, because they've always thought of me as superior to them. I think it's more of the opposite.
Also, Miss Lin had to include, "I expected more from you huh."
Like, fine, I know the whole world expects much more from me.
I lost 5 marks out of carelessness, despite checking like 2 or 3 times. And saying 'checking' I mean doing the paper all over again, and how come only when I see the big red 'X' over there then I realise my carelessness?
I lost 2 marks because I changed my answer when I checked.
That was so infuriating, I was so effing pissed with myself.
WTH is wrong with me man.
I should give myself a slap to wake myself up.
There, done it.
I do hope Composition and Oral pulls me up. They are my niche area in English, plus LC of course.
But both me and CKM scored full for LC.
And both me and CKM scored the top band for oral.
Compo remains a mystery.
And I MUST win Yoke Kay or Siew Boon in my overall, or it's like..I really can't lose to them!
And I must score higher than my SA1!
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Math.
I did okay. At least better than English. But I'm still not entirely contented because I'm the same as CKM (and Ethan). So now it's 1-0, with CKM leading.
Miss Lin said there were 3 person who scored 99. I wanted myself to get 99, I really hoped to be one of them, because my English was too damn low and I need my hero, math. But it's 3/40, and 3/40 x 100% = 7.5%.
CKM was the first to be called out for 99. My heart kinda sank. Because, there, she topped both English and Math (and Chinese with a crazy freaking 89/90), what am I compared to her?
Ethan was next. Ethan was more widely known as "English pro", so it came as quite a shock.
Third person. My mentality was: Don't be too disappointed if you don't get 99. There are other suitable candidates, like Carrissa, Ren Zhi, Jia Ling, Shu Ting, etc.
Usually I would be on cloud nine if I get 99, but this time, I don't know why, probably it's because my English affected me way more, or because CKM...
So that's why I walked down the aisle to retrieve my paper with my face made out of steel. I looked way more disappointed than happy.
Alex said, like DAMN LOUDLY, "YES!", when he heard my name being called. Like because during recess my mood was way down as well as Chinese lesson, despite the fact that the @!#$%^&*( abandoned us and went back to China until term 4.
Then Miss Lin said, "Why ah, Alex, why YES! until so loud? Is it because..."
The whole class laughed, and I managed to crack a small smile.
He was like, "Nononononono..."
Crap lar Miss Lin, not true. You forget Batrisyia is it..
And because Alex is the kind of don't like to see his friend sad one. Which I was.
Sigh~ 99 should be heaven for anyone else. Not me.
Damn that 297/1100. Why didn't I reduce it? What is wrong with my frigging fraction? I could have scored a perfect 100.
Ahh, yes, even if I did so I wouldn't be happy cause it's just one mark difference from CKM.
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Haiyah.
JF wasn't having too good a day too. Recess he didn't utter a single word and just sat on canteen bench with his head propped on his hand on the table.
SJ and Alex didn't do too well too, but it seems up to their expectations.
My Chinese tutor said, "What is excellence? Excellence is when you achieved you best standards. Like, this person is 'A' person, and when he achieves 'A', it's excellent already. If 'B' person, and he achieves 'B', he has done excellently too."
I don't really know SJ and Alex's standard, for I feel that they haven't put in their effort and release their potential yet.
I don't know about Gerald. Heh. I was so demoralized by my own results I didn't bother to ask anymore.
SJ and Alex, were, as usual, cracking out-of-the-world lameshit jokes to make us laugh. It was funny, but they failed today.
Haha but during Chinese lesson Alex succeeded. There was one part..Really really funny one lar. We talked about wearing red and go jump building together, then go to the PSLE paper room and burn all the papers or kill the setter and whatever.
We're joking..Don't take it seriously lar. He joked like crazy and I couldn't stop laughing.
THANKS ALEX!!
Sometimes, although, you go too far. Not today though. =)
SIGH~
Tomorrow Science. Miss Lin said we sucked at Science. Okay she didn't use "SUCKED" but she said, someone failed, there were lots of Bs and Cs. Okay. I've never gotten B for Science and I don't want to.
I really don't want to.
I'm sure I'm going to cry tomorrow, since the situation is so bad.
I hope to win CKM for Science.
Dream on for Chinese.
And oh yes, DSA results will be released in the next few days. If I get in I don't have to care about prelims anymore.
Like, fat chance.
But even if I do I will still care over prelims and of course PSLE because it's like..Lifetime record.
Okay. Nitenite. Going back to studying.
Change your disappointment into determination.